Broken
by Desstrio
Summary: OC used, focuses mainly on her and Merle, then her and Daryl. Told in past tense. Different pairings. Goes through whole series. Maybe spoilers, read with caution.
1. Chapter 1

These days I can't remember why I married him. I feel brainwashed at times; when he comes home late at night and sits down to a beer, when he yells, or when he doesn't show up for days at a time at all, and leaves me wondering. Those are the times. The times I wonder why I did it all those years ago. why I married him.

I feel as though we aren't in love, maybe we were never in love. Maybe I was blinded by his life choices and style. He was so care free, and bad. Maybe that's it, maybe I was going through a phase that didn't end quick enough, and now I'm paying the price.

After all of that, even though we don't make love anymore, as if we ever had, even though we don't talk, or try anymore, we're together. It's for the kids. My little girl, and baby boy. It's so they don't have to leave their house, even though it may only be a trailer in an old, broken down trailer park.

Everyday I wake up alone. He will usually be next to me in bed at night, but when he isn't, I can only guess he's out smoking, or just out thinking. That's a usual thing for him; thinking. Many don't know, but he stays up late at night, he lies there, and he thinks. Why he never does it during the day when he's making choices is beyond me. But it integers me, to lie there and watch his gears turn; his pupils rapidly dart from point to point, his face sometimes turn red. Sometimes he pretends to be sleeping for what I think my own benefit, but he can't fool me. I've seen him exhausted, and bouncing off the walls, I know him, I know him very well.


	2. Chapter 2

The day I decided to marry him is a day I will never for get, I wasn't asked traditionally, or sweetly, for that matter. It was merely expected after I was pregnant for the second time with my boy. He needed to get a better job if we were going to have him, and I had already made up my mind as to if we were or weren't. So he went job hunting while I stayed home with our two year old daughter, whom we named after his passed mother; Mary.

All the while, I had help through his brother and sister. He, being the eldest, wouldn't accept handouts even if he were dying, so I had to be the one to get a little extra help here and support there. In the end it usually made the difference if we ate or had any running water.

"Welcome home Merle," I greeted one afternoon, belly descended, and Mary bouncing happily on my hip. He left early this morning to work on a construction job a few towns over, he warned he wouldn't be back till late, but I didn't believe him till five o'clock rolled around, and he walked through the door at about seven. "I guess you weren't kidding when you said you'd be home late," I commented. He gave Mary and I a glance as he continued passed us to the small kitchen corner of our 'house.' Following somewhat obediently, I slipped Mary into her high chair, much to her dismay, and sat back in a chair by her, flicking my blond, curly hair back out of my face. I make a mental note; we all needed a trim.

"Well that's what I said," Merle grumbled, reaching into the fridge, and pulling out a beer. If there was one thing we always have in this house, despite the need of baby food, essentials, and whatever else we need, there's always beer. For the both of us. "You eat yet?"

"No, I was waiting for you to get home, I feel like I haven't seen you in days." The past week or two have been the hardest of my life, what with Merle being gone at work almost everyday for awkward, long hours - being it hunting season his brother's been gone, out for days and days on end, then coming home just to sleep. Which has put Merle himself into a bad mood, since their whole family lives for hunting season.

"Ain't you the one who told me to get my ass out there and work?" His can made a hiss as it opened, and he slurped the first sip.

"Yes I did, but I didn't think you'd be out all day every day." I snapped back, the combination of hormones and amount of sleep I've been getting have made me irritable. I can't explain how horrible I felt when I made Mary cry earlier today. "I'm just saying that we haven't talked or done anything else in a while." I stood to get Mary something to eat, she too, though it went without saying, was waiting for Merle to come home to eat.

"That ain't my fault-"

"And I'm not saying it is," I quickly but in, trying to maneuver myself around him to get to the refrigerator. Completely ignoring his eyes on me, and the hand that clutches my upper arm.

"Then why don't you get off my case."

"Did you even hear what I said?" I ask, jerking my arm back, though failing in getting back under my control. "All I was saying is that I miss you..." My eyes go soft, and my body relaxes. I don't want to fight, I just want to sleep.

"Well then maybe you wanna go out and work, go on, be my guest," he spits into the nearby sink, and lets me go with a jerk. I retrieve Mary's food, and feed her in a different room.

It's always like this, short, meaningless arguments. He doesn't listen, that's his problem, he just doesn't know how to listen to someone else beside himself. The day he learns that there are more people, and opinions then his own, is the day our marriage will turn around. That is... If I want it to.


	3. Chapter 3

Shortly after my son, Chris, was born, Merle got a job along side his sister and brother in a bar. He, of course, was the bouncer. The job would keep them all out till two or three in the morning, so I grew lonely. With my only company being my children, one of whom couldn't speak, and the other just learning to form comprehensive sentences, I resorted to trying to keep myself entertained through writing. I found I had a knack for it, who knew?

Days seemed to go by too fast around our little trailer. Mary and Chris quickly transformed into two beautiful toddlers, and I myself shed all of the extra weight. I began taking them out around town more often, we went out to parks, we window shopped, and went out with friends I made through just getting myself out there, or people I'd met through the bar.

Though the bar life did seem glamorous, it wasn't for me. I had never liked the taste of alcohol so much that I would want to go out and have some every night with strangers. I would much rather make sure my children were fed, and tucked in at night.


	4. Chapter 4

When the news hit me, I felt as though we had all been sentenced to our death. But that's not how Merle saw it.

"Oh my god," I breathed, finding Chris with my eyes, and pulling Mary closer to my chest.

Our very out dated television's power flickered, so Merle kick started it with his foot.

"Ain't no way," he muttered. He had never been one for believing the news. Fairly often he'd tell me to quote "turn that piece of sh*t racket off," but it interested me. My new passion for writing gave me hopes of being a journalist, and I liked to pretend it was me on that TV, talking to the entire state of Georgia.

"What... What does this mean? Do we have to leave-I mean..."

"Pack up everything, I'm gonna go get Daryl." And like that, I was left alone again.

I packed everything I felt was necessary, which meant, I explained to Mary and Chris, less toys, more clothes, and piled everything into the car. The entire process only took me around an hour, and by then, Merle still wasn't back. I didn't know how long going to find Daryl would actually take, so I didn't know how long it would take for him to come back, and I didn't dare go outside. On the news it said to stay indoors, lock windows, don't open them to anyone who'd been quote unquote "bitten", or come into any contact with them.

I locked every door and window, shut the blinds, turned the lights off, and waited patiently.

I waited twenty four hours. Nothing.

That's when I decided to pack up and drive away.


	5. Chapter 5

We'd been driving for about two hours when the highway was stopped up with cars, and we couldn't move another inch. Cars stopped around mine, and they seemed to be going on for miles, and everyone was in park; which led me to wonder if we'd ever leave this hell hole.

Chris was getting fidgety, and started to be a bother to both his sister and I's sanity, so I let them unbuckle, and walk around outside the car with me a few times. It put them in good spirits, and when they saw other children actually running around playing, they were over joyed. Not many of their friends from both daycare and school like coming over to play, which I understand given the neighborhood we reside in and Merle's attitude towards people in general.

Cautiously, I let them go a few cars over and run around with kids looking to be a little older then they were. I could still hear them, and could see them when they ran through openings, so I wasn't worried about them.

What I was worried about was Merle. He never came back, what if he did, and saw the place was empty? Where would he go? If he were to come looking for us, there was no way he'd be able to track us in this mess of cars. I guess I would just have to wait, that's what we all were doing, was waiting for answers.

I went to collect the kids when the clock on the radio read 4. Having at that moment been away from home and on the technical run for three hours, Chris was bound to be tired and cranky, and Mary was going to ask for some form of snack. They were fairly reluctant to return back to the car, so I gave them another five minutes, and looked to the mothers of the children they were playing with.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hi, I'm Adri," I greeted, extending an arm in their direction.

"It's nice to meet you Adri, I'm Lori, Carl's mom." She shook it with purpose, and nodded toward a young boy who was talking to Mary while flipping Chris upside down. "And this is Carol, Sophia's mother."

Carol didn't make the move to give me her hand, so I waved. "It's nice to meet you both. I hate to ask, but do you know when we're supposed to get out of here?" I hadn't had any answers from anyone, and a million built up questions.

"Not a clue," Carol shook her head, and looked towards Sophia, watching her with much attention.

"Shane just went up to check out there," Lori offered, shifting where she stood, she did that often.

"Shane?"

"My uh... Friend."

I left it at that, because she seemed confused about herself even more then I was.

Mary came to me not too long after, asking for juice. I thanked the two women for talking with me, and called Chris to follow me.

It became dark faster then I had thought, and the car had only moved down a mile. At this rate, I thought, we'd never get anywhere. We'd be stuck here for the rest of our lives, waiting to get away from whatever it was we were getting away from.


	7. Chapter 7

They bombed the city. They came down in planes and bomb the beautiful city of Atlanta. In instants it was nothing but smoke and a rumbling memory. I was scared, I was terrified. Mary cried, because she understood what was happening, which made me even sicker then I already was becoming.

"Momma why are they doing that?" She kept asking, but I had no answer. I didn't know why. I didn't understand the situation, I didn't know people were actually dying.

Lori and Shane came to my car after talking to Carol for a moment. I had no Idea Shane was so... possessive of her. Every move she made, he matched, and made sure she didn't hurt herself. But at that moment it was all clear that they were more then friends. I had been in their situation too many times before; friends with benefits.

"We're leaving, gonna go find a safer place and get out of traffic," Lori explained quickly over Mary's cries. I tried to hush her the very best I could, but she was scared. "Come with us."


	8. Chapter 8

It had been days in camp, and I was reunited with my sister in law, Dylan. It was the best feeling in the world to see her alive and well, along with her one year old daughter, Gwen. Though her husband was no where to be found either, having each other for company sort of settled tension. I was still on high alert, believing I was going to be reunited with Merle some how. Maybe I was just dreaming. I didn't think of it too much.


	9. Chapter 9

On a normal day at camp, Chris ran off. I try to keep both he and Mary as close to me as I can on a regular basis, but at times he will slip away from me, and be found playing with something or someone. Mary as well.

But today was different, this time he was no where to be found, and I didn't know what to do besides just look for him, and call out to him. But was I supposed to be harsh, or compassionate? I was angry at him for disobeying me, but if he were to come back, he'd probably come back to someone who wasn't yelling at him, and threatening a time out of some sort. Dylan, Carol, and Lori ran around the camp with me. We periodically checked in with Dale, the man who stands on top of his RV keeping watch for us most days, and Shane would look a bit too. It was nerve wracking, thinking he'd gone too far, but how far can a three year old toddle to? I wish I had already known.

This took about two hours. Two painful hours of running around the camp, calling and looking. I hated every bit of it, making people look for my son, neglecting my chores, having to lie to Mary to keep her on edge, not knowing where he was. Every little fact about this stung.

The only miracle I'll probably ever received happened just as we hit two hours and thirty minutes.

Daryl, of all people, came into camp in Merle's old beat up blue truck, holding Chris who was red faced and eyed. He'd been crying, I only hope it's because he was scared.

I ran to them, and hugged them. I couldn't breathe, or speak, and soon collapsed onto the ground with them still in my arms. Daryl went down with me, he hugged me, but only for a second. He's never been one for showing feelings, neither him, or his brother. His sister though, she'll let certain people through, I'm glad I get to be one of those people.

From the direction of the truck, I hear the door open and close again. I look up to see through my blurry eyes, Merle.

My world stops.


	10. Chapter 10

Some time after that, Glenn, Dylan's husband showed up. He was beaten and bruised, and unconscious. Merle, T-Dog, Shane, and Daryl brought him in. They carried him like he was dead, no one really knew what to think.

"We didn't find him, he found us." Is what they kept saying. But what did that even mean?

Dylan was hysterical, she'd never seen Glenn in this state before, no one really had. He looked like he had been in some sort of MMA fight, or got thrown into the middle of a boxing ring. It took him a day to come to.

While we all waited, Dylan stayed by his side with Gwen the entire time. Gwen was ecstatic at the sight of her dad, she's the biggest daddy's girl I've ever seen. If Dylan even so much as implied she was taking her out of the RV, she would cry. She just really wanted to be with her daddy.


	11. Chapter 11

Seeing them reunited, seeing us all reunited, it made everything feel normal again. It's like nothing had ever changed, just the scenery. We were all out camping. With strangers. We were part of a group tour, staying by a large quarry, just trying to survive mosquito bites.

"How's Glenn feeling?" I asked Dylan, taking her daughter into my arms, and kissing her cheek. Her skin was soft, and pink. I put her head just above my shoulder, and patted her back softly.

"He'll be okay, he's tough," she assured me, putting away Gwen's 'food'. Glenn was laying down across from us in the RV, sleeping. He'd been awake approximately two hours for the past few days.

"Are you happy to see daddy?" I cooed to Gwen, rubbing my nose against hers, and getting a little giggle. "Oh I bet you are, you cutie-patooty."


	12. Chapter 12

Having Merle back changed everyone. My kids didn't play with the other kids anymore, I didn't talk to others much, either. I, myself, was much too busy expressing to Merle how happy I was to have him back, and it turns out, he missed me a little too.

"Ya made me think ya'll were dead." He confided in me in bed one night. Mary and Chris were fast asleep, they had been for hours. He thought I was sleeping too, but he caught me watching him think again.

"I didn't mean to," I take my palm, and put it on his cheek. He's warm, probably burning up. He's always warm, he spends too much time in the sun. Listen to me, I sound like his mother. "It wasn't safe, and you left without telling me when you'd be back. I had to go."

He nods slightly, and looks up, he's thinking again. I wrap myself around his body, and it's instantly too warm; so I sit up and start to strip.


	13. Chapter 13

Merle instantly became one of the group, which was a relief, because I was so sure he'd get on everyone's bad side the moment he got there. But to my surprise it took a day or two to get everyone to hate him. A new personal best.

He's rude, and has his own way of viewing things, is what I tell myself. Because some how I need to accept the fact that my husband is hated by everyone who's trying to keep my family and I alive.

There was one morning, I remember, when Daryl woke up, and something about him was off. He suddenly was very touchy with the kids and I, he wanted to hold Chris all the time, and Mary would run to him and talk to him for hours. I don't know what changed, but whatever it was, it was great for the kids. And me. He could make us all feel so safe.


	14. Chapter 14

One run for food and such, Merle didn't come back. And they told me he never would. So I had truly lost him for good. He was gone. There was no way of bringing him back.

So what was I supposed to do? Cry forever? I couldn't cry in front of Mary and Chris, for all Chris knew Merle was going to come back. And as for Mary...

I think she knew better then that. She's a smart girl, she thinks too often and too hard. She takes after him like that.

This new guy, Rick was his name, told Daryl and I. Basically shouting it out for the whole camp to hear. It turns out he's Lori's husband, and Carl's father. Who knew.

Daryl was absolutely furious. They could fight, and yell, and beat each other up, but they loved one anther. Dylan wasn't phased. She had her own opinion about Merle, and it wasn't a good one.

They said there was one way they could get him back, they thought he might still be alive, all Rick did was handcuff him to the roof. He's a cop, like Shane. Turns out they're best friends too. He must've been an answered prayer, but I'm not sure who was praying for him.

Daryl jumped at the chance to get him, he wanted him back, and he knew that I needed him, and the kids needed him. I've been told stories that when they were much younger, Daryl and Merle were sort of a package deal. If you got one, chances are the other would pop in and give his two cents. So considering that they were so inseparable, I could only imagine how tough it must be to be Daryl.


End file.
